Anger is a normal emotion. It arises from judgment. If anything isn’t fair or is wrong, an angry emotion can be felt. It’s sometimes useful for children because they can express their disagreement, but it becomes a big problem when it comes off as extremely aggressive. Parents have to deal with it in the right way, which is a big challenge. We should always encourage our children to learn their emotions and expression. In this way, they can validate their feelings. How are they feeling right now? For example, if your child is put in a situation or is made to know something that he/ she feels is inappropriate, he/she will naturally get frustrated or strongly disagree with it. So some of this build-up is bound to come out as anger.We are here to discuss on Anger Management For Kids.
Causes of Anger in Children
There are many possible reasons as to why your child gets angry. Some of the main causes of anger are:
- Children learn things from their own families. Seeing other relatives or family members expressing anger to one another or being furious with each other can cause your child to express anger too.
- Being harassed at school can also cause anger to build up in your child. When a child can’t deal with bullying, it’s natural to take upon the angry emotion.
- Issues with friends or fellow students.
- Feeling extremely focused, restless, or frightful about something.
- Battling with the stress and burden of homework or being unable to understand in school, or problems with studying can also cause your child to get angry.
- Hormonal changes during puberty can also cause a change in mood and emotions.
What Parents do Wrong with Anger Management
Parents usually have a temper of their own. When a child shows anger, they usually tend to scold them rather than handling the situation calmly. You need to understand why your child is getting angry. If it’s because of a valid reason, then you should try to deal with it by effectively communicating. But if you, as a parent, feel that the anger is unnecessary, and your child is just trying to piss you off intentionally, then you can deal with it firmly.
Not even trying to understand the reason behind it and scolding them every time this happens can cause even more anger in your child. Children need someone to listen, and they rely on their parents to understand their feelings. Parents should realize that this is a normal part of growing up, adolescence, and the transition from childhood to adulthood!
Effective Ways for Parents to Manage Anger
Let’s discuss the ways that are effective in managing anger in children. Parents must try to follow these ways, as they can help control such emotions in your child.
1. Know the Reasons
It may not even be clear to you or your youngster why they’re feeling furious. If that is the situation, it’s essential to assist them with working out what may be causing their resentment and not jumping to conclusions. Please try to understand the reason behind their concerning behavior and emotion. If you can understand peacefully, you can deal with it in fractions of minutes. Suppose if your kid is not comfortable dancing in front of an audience. And, you force them to show to please your friends or family. This will give birth to anger in your children. And without even understanding the reason, you start pressurizing your kids.
2. Stay Positive – Anger Management For Kids
Being positive yourself as a parent is also very much needed to handle situations like these. You can’t lose control and lash out your own emotion at your child; rather, you need to stay calm and positive and help him/ her figure out the reason behind the anger. Using positive liners do wonders for children. Some example I use with my children:
- Yes, you can do it!
- Perfect ! this is the way I want it.
- I love you!
- This is the right approach.
- Wonderful job!
3. Talk to Your Child
It is necessary to understand that the best way to control and handle a child’s anger issue is by communicating. This will help you understand better why exactly your child is throwing a temper. Try first to calm down the situation. Gradually, You can sit back, relax, and discuss your child on the concern once he is at peace and with a cool temper.
4. Watch any Signs of Stress or Buttons that Trigger your Child – Anger Management For Kids
Looking for signs and problems that specifically push your child’s buttons and drive him/ her towards a state of stress or angry behavior is necessary. For my child, I have observed a loud voice or behavior triggers him a lot. And, instantly, I can sense the development of anger emotion.
5. Be Supportive but Show Support very Subtly.
If your child is angry because he can’t do his homework right, you can help him/her with a bit of their homework so they or could understand it better. But don’t do the whole homework for your child just because he got angry. This will let your child think that every time he gets angry, you will come up and do their homework, and they won’t have to do anything. So it’s better to be subtle.
6. Validate their Feelings
Try to make sure that your child knows that being angry and frustrated is okay. Your child should know the limits. Children should learn it’s not ok to throw objects, kick the doors or windows. Try to speak and discuss in proper ways to manage anger issues. It is a fact that not every child can match all your expectations. Hence, try to adjust your expectations because sometimes these children’s expectations might be the reason for their stress. They might think that they won’t be able to fulfill them. This way, you can show that your child’s feelings are valid and that you can adjust your feelings and expectations for him/ her.
7. Encourage Regular Active Play and Exercise in your Child – Anger Management For Kids
Staying active is also a way to reduce or stop feelings of anger. A normal jumping and hopping all around the house. Having a short walk in the backyard. When you let them have free play and do some physical games; this proves to reduce:
- Behavior troubles
- Even a short walk sometimes can release stress and help me feel calm and sane.
8. Seek Professional Help if the Anger is Unmanageable and Extreme
Suppose you see that your child is angry most of the time and that too in the extreme, and for no reason, this might cause worry. In such a case, you should take professional help from a specialist.
9. Magical Ways – Anger Management For Kids
Some of the magical ways kids are free to express and release their strong emotion are:
- Sip water.
- Do some breathing exercises.
- Tell them to hug you tightly.
- Give a piece of paper to scribble or draw all over.
- Squeeze or press a squishy toy.
- Play with your gel beads.
- Slime is another great option. Play with it; sense it.
- Jog around the house.
- Jump up and down.
10. It Is Ok To Be Angry
Sometimes it is ok to be angry as it is the way you are expressing your emotion. Make sure the emotion is not intense and harsh. You should know the limits. Stay calm and composed! Make your child feel safe and secure first. As they feel safe, they are willing to learn and understand. Some positive liners that work best with my kids are: I Love you! You are my life! I know your situation. How can I help you with this! Sometimes these positive lines can work a long way.