Love is a part of our lives. We live to love and share happiness with the people around us and with the world.But.Here we are at Tinydale to discuss a topic that is related to Love but not real love. I mean to say The opposite of Love i.e. Loveless Marriage. Curious Na! Let us try to dive deep into this topic.
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Learn About Marriage
Marriage is a necessary part of our life and we all will get married once. We take time to choose the right partner that will carry us through the hardship and uncertainty of the future.
That being said, not all marriages are successful. Whether belief in “arranged marriage” or ” love marriage”. Both comes with limitation and unpredictability. Because it all comes down to the individual life partners.
If individuals are good and can depend on each other then there is no problem with the marriage. Like people say, quarrels cannot be avoided in marriage and it is true. The two people cannot have similar tastes or preferences over one thing nor they can have the same opinion. Because of this fact sometimes, there is a disagreement between two married people.
The disagreement often is too strong that one person cannot tolerate another person’s choices or opinions. Everybody is entitled to their opinions, likes and dislikes, tastes, and preferences. So the problem comes when two people who are happily married decide to take some time off and stop talking to each other creating distances.
That will lead to a “Loveless Marriage“
What causes you to love your partner less? – Like all-natural calamities, the disagreement or love between two people cannot be measured or controlled. Emotions flow naturally in the behavior of humans. So let us understand what are their structures cause a marriage to be less of love or Loveless Marriage:
Top 5 Causes Of Loveless Marriage
- The poor decision of life partner: It takes a lot of time to understand the human being and sometimes, people judge that life partner very quickly. Because of the poor judgment, the life partner they chose does not match their expectations and that leads to you loving the person lesser and lesser.
- Fantasy partner: We all love to imagine the life partner of our dreams. Who doesn’t? But do we get that life partner of our dreams? People look at and ideal is life partners in public figures especially movie stars and assume that their ideal life partner will look like those public figures. When people marry me a least attractive or different looking person then they assume that their fantasy has not come true. So they keep looking for alternate life partners. There are other characteristics of the life partner that they ignore and take the complete route to fantasy.
- Higher expectations: William Shakespeare famously said, ” expectations are the root cause of all problems”. This quote given by him makes complete sense in a marriage life also. Sometimes, one partner has more Expectations to have with another partner. The Expectations could be of any sort like if one female partner loves to cook but the male partner does not like cooking so the female partner expect that the male partner should take an active interest in cooking and help her rich cooking. On the other hand, if a male partner loves to go out on a picnic but the female partner always feels nauseating or busy by going to distances. To both, the partner has different expectations which each other but not both can fulfill each other’s expectations in the right way.
- Suspicion: Suspicion is not good especially when it comes to trust between two people. If a female partner does not trust a male partner and assumes that the male partner has an affair or is not actively involved with the marriage, then she stops trusting her male partner. On the contrary, if the mail has suspicion over the spouse, then he will begin to do in the marriage as well. So there should always be a fine line between what is real and what is not.
- Dissatisfaction in sex life: Sex is important to keep the relation between two couples alive. When there is a distance, sex brings more intimate moments that remove stores distances. When due to several factors, there is no regular sex between two partners, then it will create dissatisfaction and lack of Desire in further sex drive.
All of these problems are personal problems and only can be discussed between a married couple.
How to cope with loveless marriage?
To avoid the “Loveless Marriage”, one must be careful and does not let any e personal feelings get in their way. To have a happy marriage, one must consider the below points.
- Having empathy towards your partner: Put yourself in the shoes of your partner and understand the situation that he or she is going through.
- Have a discussion with your partner: Your partner may not reveal anything directly to you because he or she might feel a little uncomfortable sharing their thoughts. So encourage it in the detailed discussion so that your partner feels comfortable with you.
- Know the roots: If there is a disagreement between you and your partner then you should try to find out any previous trauma or history with the subject or their choices. If you know the roots, your partner can feel safer and more optimistic with you.
- Learn to forgive: Forgiveness is not expensive. Just like advice, forgiveness is free to give. So if your partner makes a mistake you should learn to forgive your partner.
- Do not create distances: By creating distances, you may lose your partner in the long run. Marriage should be all about sharing happiness and sorrows. There may come times when you feel uncomfortable talking about a subject but that is ok because ultimately, it is you who have to do initiate a supporting environment.
Loveless Marriage is a lonely place that makes you feel uncomfortable with your partner, with your hobbies, with your choices, and with your life. You cannot tell certain things to your parents because that is between you and your partner so discussing it easily solves the problem. If you are seriously not happy with your marriage, you should open up with your partner to come up with the solution. A perfect marriage is a meeting of two Souls into one body.
Also Read: All about Parallel Parenting | Co-Parenting vs Parallel Parenting